Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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