Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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