We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you will always have a special place in my vag
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
