Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so explain again why im purple
no
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
