I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
