I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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