my phone cant type all the emotion im having
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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