He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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