your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
