I want to walk on stilts...naked
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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