Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I bet he comes in French.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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