As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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