The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
