Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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