i wish my penis had a tongue
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
