It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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