just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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