I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
