you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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