Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
