where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
