Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
