your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
