Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
