dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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