happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
