Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
