As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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