even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
