I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
