I think i peed on brittanys purse
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
