Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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