You really coming over, don't trick.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
