a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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