"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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