I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
