if i can run in heels then i can drive
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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