she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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