dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
