at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
