It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
