Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
