I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
