Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think i have two assholes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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