fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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