yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
