Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
