My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
