Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
