too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
