I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
