Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
